My Perfect Facebook Life

Social media is an awesome way to connect with all kinds of people, but when it comes to your online persona, just how honest are you?

For my take on this, check out my article, "My Perfect Facebook Life," just published online in Southern Indiana Living Magazine. 

Also, don't miss the sidebar,"What If Real Life Were Like Facebook?"  Thanks to my Facebook Friends for all of your awesome ideas. 

Print version hits the stands in a couple of days.

Too Good To Be True

Last fall my wife and I began house-shopping, hoping to get into something affordable while interest rates were low.  We looked at several homes but couldn’t find anything in our price range until one day our realtor stumbled onto a bank foreclosure. 

One glance inside and we fell in love.  It had to be the nicest looking foreclosure anyone had ever seen.  The front door opened to a two-story living room with a stone fireplace that went floor to ceiling.  Everywhere we looked we found cool touches like a window seat in the master bedroom and a Jack and Jill bathroom that would connect our girls’ rooms upstairs.  To top it all off, the bank had given it a fresh coat of paint and replaced all of the carpet. 

I couldn’t believe we were going to get into a house considerably larger than ours for almost the same house payment.  It seemed too good to be true.

Then we had the home inspection.  Not good. 

A Beautiful Mess

One Saturday morning last fall my 2 year-old daughter Kate bounced up to me and tugged on my shirt to get my attention.

"What is it, Babe?"  I asked.

"Wa-wa. Mess," she said.

Hmm.  I didn't think much about it because she's always playing in the bathroom sink, splashing water all over the counter and herself. Little did I know that she'd taken things to a whole new level.

About an hour later I went to get my laptop, the precious laptop that I use for all of my writing projects. What I saw sent shivers down my spine.  Water and lots of it.

An ominous pool seeped out from underneath the computer. An empty glass lay on its side nearby. Though I'm no detective, I began to suspect I wouldn't like where this trail of clues was leading me.

God of the Blank Page

At the end of last December, I faced an early deadline for this column because of the New Year’s holiday.  I was fried from a week of travel and celebration and did not feel like getting up early to write. But a deadline is a deadline, so I dragged my groggy self out of bed and fired up the laptop.

Nothing. I had nothing to say.

I’d been writing holiday-themed pieces for the past few months, milking Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas for all they were worth. I thought I would wrap it up with a New Year’s column, but I didn’t have a real idea.

All I had was an empty Word document and a ticking clock.

Judgment Day

I’d just settled into my comfy chair with my laptop when the middle-aged women sitting nearby wrecked my concentration.  Why do the chatty people always sit by me in coffee shops?   I tried to tune them out.  I really did.  After all, I had a column to write, but the woman driving the conversation spoke with such fervor I couldn’t ignore her.  I don’t know her name, but I’ll call her Judy.                 

“She drives me crazy,” Judy said to her companion.  “She’s always making derogatory comments about people.  As soon as someone walks away, she says something hateful.  She acts like she’s always right.  What’s that about?” 

Clearly she was talking about someone both women knew, and Judy had had it.   For the next forty-five minutes, Judy unloaded on the poor lady who had joined her for coffee.  I’m not even sure Judy took a breath as she enumerated the evils of this mysterious third party one-by-one. 

By the end, I was pretty much convinced Judy’s enemy must have been the anti-Christ because, according to Judy, she was responsible for all the world’s problems, my favorite being that she talked about people behind their backs.  Um, Judy, what did you just spend the last hour doing?  Hello?  Irony?  Anybody have some irony out there?